I’ve always had this problem with being a pushover and letting people walk all over me. Like someone could ask me to do their homework for a week and I would probably do it just because I didn’t want to upset them. Honestly, I just can’t bring myself to say no to someone and even if I did say no to someone, I would immediately feel guilty and change my reply to yes within the next minute. It’s probably because I don’t like it when I’m not liked by someone; it just seriously annoys me so much whenever I find out that someone dislikes me and I don’t even know why. Which is totally irrational because not everyone in the world is going to like me and I know that but I still maintain this kind of mindset.
“This is not the time to be passive. This is the time to shape, sculpt, paint, participate… the time to get sweaty, to get dirty, to fall in love, to forgive, to forget, to hug, to kiss… this is the time to experience, participate and live your life as a verb.”
Being assertive is a personality trait I would love to have but I have so much trouble getting myself out of this shell I built for myself that I can’t seem to develop it. I need to just start voicing my opinions more often and just remember that what other people think about me doesn’t necessarily have to matter all of the time.
“It’s easy to think that people will like you more if you do whatever they tell you to do, but it’s quite the opposite. People don’t appreciate pushovers – they use them.”
I’ve always thought that “no” was a mean word: it meant letting people down, hurting other people’s feelings, and it made me seem as if I weren’t a nice person. Which is actually not true at all because it’s definitely possible to say no without be mean. It’s only now occurring to me that being so passive is not good for me because I’m keeping all of my feelings inside and it’s built this constant feeling of anxiety inside of me since I’m so focused on other people’s opinions of me. It’s not my job to please everyone and make everyone feel nice and fuzzy inside. Sure, you shouldn’t be mean to people if you can be nice but I shouldn’t have to sacrifice my own happiness just so I don’t upset someone. The only person whose happiness should matter the most is my own. It’s not selfish to put yourself above others every once in a while, its called self-love. Recognize that you need to care for yourself and respect your own feelings and your body. Also its very important to be happy!!! Never forget that.
Everyone has a right to express their feelings (even if it is anger), to express their opinions, to say no without feeling guilty, and to ask for what they want.
Well, that’s about it for tonight! PS I really love it when I see that people are actually reading what I write so thanks for that!